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The Void

by Akela

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1.
His heart sinks, drowning in memories and the nauseating stench of exhaust fumes. Back when he knew that the wind was made by the trees waving their leaves. Before he was pressed in a form that he never fit in, back before they crushed all his dreams. Before he put himself in that seat. Keep the engine running and the windows rolled up and the doors closed. Give up. In his dreams he still flies kites, and he’s still riding his bike, oblivious of the worries of the world, but he’s already on the road that led him to this garage where exhaust fumes stop his heart. In his dreams he still flies kites in the light of faded days. In his dreams he rides his bike, but all the streets have changed their faces, and he wonders: When did he choose the path that led him to his demise?
2.
Reminder 03:22
When we met you were the most vivid person I’d ever seen, more boy than man…but look at you now. You suffocated yourself in the car, and all you left me with is our oblivious little kid and the knowledge that I was not enough, not a reason to endure what you were going through. I wonder, did we ever cross your mind? When you sat there, did you realize you’d be tearing my world apart and pull the rug out from under me? Did you not want to see your son grow up? Never hear him talk? He looks just like you. A constant reminder. And in the garden you planted a tree to put a swing in for him someday. But tell me, how can this still be our home? Tell me, how are we supposed to go on? How am I supposed to go on?
3.
The Void 04:30
We write emotions out as less-than-threes so nobody wonders how we really feel, desperately telling ourselves every night that we’ll get by. We are at war with all their expectations but we’ll cave in until we are pebble stones, and one day we’ll wake up with our masks glued to our faces and with empty hearts. We become one with our mask. Teach yourself how to smile to shut them out. Hide the cavity in your heart. Try to ignore the voice in your head telling you it gets better if you just abandon hope and collapse, give up and off yourself. Why do we prefer to smile, or to hide in isolation, trying to fit in with the sharks at our throats? And why do we try to meet someone else’s expectations while we feel the cavity in our hearts grow? Tell yourself every night you’ll get by and remember to keep up that smile. Try to be everything that you’re not. Take the pressure until you collapse. Become one with the mask.
4.
Twenty years later. Across the street is where my father died. All I have are photographs and people saying I remind them of him. I always felt his shadow. I’ve seen the clouds behind my mother’s eyes on all those birthdays, on all these holidays spend with his ghost lurking behind me. It feels like I’ve never been just me, as if my life is his apology, or a promise I have to keep for him. Give me something to call my own. I can’t be someone I am not. Walk in the footsteps of a coward. Keep comparing his life to mine. I refuse to be a ghost, a copy or an ideal version of him. I just want to be me.

about

On January 2013 we released four brand new songs, recorded once again at ›Die Tonmeisterei‹ in Oldenburg. Dealing with a fictional family drama, „The Void“ tells an atmospherically dense story of identity loss, isolation, and grief – but also one of hope and the struggle against fate and predestination.

Physically, “The Void” comes exclusively on limited, colored 10” vinyl (50 white (SOLD OUT), 150 red) in a handmade, silk screen-printed cover sleeve.

You can order the 10" (8€ + shipping, incl. download-code!) here: order@akelanoise.com

credits

released January 11, 2013

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about

Akela North Rhine-Westphalia, Germany

We are a 5-piece post hardcore / alternative band out of Lüdenscheid / Germany. You can stream our whole material here on bandcamp. If you like our songs, we encourage you to download them and share them with your friends. If you would like to order physical copies of our releases, you can do so in our bigcartel store.

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